Saturday, June 09, 2001

When things begin to go wrong it is easy to say fuck it and point the cannon at the deck and just start firing away. Perhaps it is a zest for self destruction, or maybe it is just a hackneyed pseudo-psyche explanation involving feelings of low self-esteem. Whatever it is, once you spur that pony it's a heller to dismount. Look forward to trampled gardens and broken limbs.

I am overly dramatic, but this has been a fucking shitty couple of days. Why I cannot say, exactly. Ultimatums are for assholes.

Friday, June 08, 2001

Another sunny day and I STILL have a cold. this is now 15 days... a bit extreme. At least I'm used to it.

Gossip... what is it, exactly? I think it's two people talking about a third person in a way they wouldn't want them to know about. The word, my father says, comes from the Old English Gott Sib, meaning "a sister God has given you." Initially meaning friend with whom one feels a particular affinity, it has morphed into the word we now know:

1. Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature.
2. A person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors or facts.
3. Trivial, chatty talk or writing.
4. A close friend or companion.
5. Chiefly British. A godparent.

Odd how gossip can color you thoughts about the gossipee. Two people can together change their opinion of the third (and not present) person and behave accordingly. You know the drill: "that BITCH" and all that.

Loose lips sink friendships? Maybe.

Thursday, June 07, 2001

Blogger seems stable again. Blogvoices is still down, though. No comments on this site until that's happening.... I have no desire to pop in a cgi or php script into my site. While I will tackle any li'l Flash thing you might throw my way, I am still boggled by server-side stuff. Keeps me from being too employable, right?

I am really enjoying having a full size workstation, an actual office and... most importantly... a subwoofer. Amazing how much easier it is to to work, even with this stopping to blow my nose every few minutes.

I just deleted a long and stammering missive that made me wonder what the fuck they put in that cough syrup.

We went to the vet to take our two new kittens for a check-up. Yes, kittens... Hugh and Stuart, the newest members of the household. At least they were. We got talked into taking Treat, a four-year-old Daschund with a game leg. cALL US SUCKERS.

Wednesday, June 06, 2001

Ever so odd how the music of the moment effects what's happening in my current world. For instance, right now I'm listening to Laika really loud. frenetic and loud. And now it's William Orbit. I love Winamp's shuffle-up-agus. It really helps when I'm on a big project.

Haley is going to Africa after all, but Tanzania for a bwana-style safari. More her style than trekking through jungles with Hutus and Tutsi marauders about. It will be a longer trip, but her sister is really putting on the pressure. Besides, distance will only make the heart grow fonder (although that is unimaginable at this point!)

And happy birthday to Jodi, who had better put up one more thing on her page so it's 29 instead of 28.

I'm doing an extremely enjoyable Flash project in addition to my international duties. Making ends meet whatever way I can.

That's about it. Still sick. Getting better ever so slowly, but I still feel rotten.

Tuesday, June 05, 2001

Gad, I have been so sick this past few days. I thought I had kicked this illness but it struck back with a vengeance. Normally I am in the pink of health, but this laid me out so that my main activities of late have been sleeping and, well... sleeping. Weird dreams, too, but that goes without saying. Illnes gives us youngsters a taste of being old: wondering, for example, if you have the energy to walk on home from the park, or maybe not being able to draw breath without it catching somewhere in your chest.

I've started again in keeping an offline journal, a handwritten one. I looked over this one I've had for some years and was amazd at my candor. I knew that nobody would be reading the entries save myself, and thank God for that. Some of the details were excruciating to relive. I was pretty unhappy. And unedited.

This morning I was walking to the grocery store and there was a huge boom. Turns out that a transformer up the street blew up and blacked out a large chunk of my neighborhood. My house was spared, but the power surge knocked out my new computer. It wouldn't restart, either, and I cursed my computer luck.

My computer luck is particularly bad, too. My main box three years ago was a screaming AMD 200 (so fast that all my friends swore I'd never need a new one... imagine that). In upgrading to Win98 from 95 I had virtually every possible thing that could go wrong go wrong. It culminated in the power supply catching fire and blowing up the RAM, the motherboard, the processor and all the cards. Pretty funny, except that I relied then, as now, on my computers to make a living. Shortly thereafter I went back to bartending for a few months.

Anyway, things are back up and rocking. I am so spoiled now... this system is a dream. Lots of work to do, also. So why am I blogging, anyway?